Email RSVP to a wedding? Wedding evite?

3/13/2012

So, here's the thing: one of my friends is planning her wedding this year and she proposed asking for RSVPs by email. My first thought was to be horrified. My second thought was to be disappointed. My third thought was to be sad. What is the world coming to? A formal invitation with an electronic response? Gah!

However, with the passage of time, my thoughts tend to mellow. I'm a wee bit of a tech geek. I like doing my part for the environment. Hey, maybe it's not so bad....but no. There's still that niggling doubt in my mind telling me that it's wrong. But then I figured it out! What was really bothering me was the disconnect between the two media. A traditional paper invite deserves a traditional paper response card, extra postage and all. But an electronic invitation absolutely needs an e-response.

Sites like http://glosite.com/ offer wed-sites as well as e-invitations that can be so creative it almost makes me want to get married all over again. [ALMOST.] The options seem endless, telling your unique love story for all your friends and family. For a wedding with a mostly younger guest list, this would be perfect. And for those few traditional hold-outs: there are corresponding paper invites.

What do you think? Would you be offended if you received an evite to a wedding? Would it change your opinion about the couple? How do you feel about paper invites with email RSVP requests?

5 Comments

Clare

3/14/2012 07:20:50 am

Interesting topic - but to answer I wouldn't be offended. The fact of the matter is, the couple invited me to share and celebrate their nuptials with them. How they ask me to RSVP, via paper, telephone or electronically, doesn't matter. It's the couple and their event that matters the most.

Would it be an issue as well if guests were to RSVP through telephone when receiving a paper invite? If so, how is it any different than responding to a baby shower, bridal shower or anniversary celebration through telephone or electronically? Why don't we send response cards for that?

Thinking of the wedding invitations I've received in the past - I can't recall how many times I've meant to send the RSVP but put it in a "safe" place to send at a later date and just completely forgot about the RSVP only to have the bride contact me either through phone, email or FB to find out if I'm attending. For me, RSVPing electronically or through telephone is perfectly fine and it's a lot easier. And, it doesn't detract anything from the couple or the event itself.

What would bother me is not receiving any sort of formal invitation at all, be it paper or electronic format, asked verbally to RSVP through any method and then finding out later that other people received invites except for you. That would offend me because it then seems like I was an afterthought or not good enough to invite the first time around.

Kristina

3/15/2012 03:41:52 am

Hi Clare,

Hmmm... maybe I'm even more of a traditionalist than I thought because a phone RSVP to a formal invite gives me the heebie-jeebies too!

I guess I just like the thought of matching media and formalities. A phone response is fine for a hand-written (think informal shower, birthday party etc) but still not for a formal [black-tie] wedding. However, now that you [or did I?} mention it, if it's an informal wedding, then I guess a phone or email response would be appropriate. It sets the tone and expectation.

I agree with you 100% though: if it was a good friend getting married, I wouldn't really care if the invite came on a post-it note attached to my windshield, as long as I was invited. :)

Angie

3/15/2012 06:09:55 am

Ladies,
Oh my......
you are asking a woman that gets the heebie jeebies when she receives a mailed invitation that has not been personally handwritten!! and has been just slopped on with a typed label!! AHHHH!!!
I am a very open minded woman and I work in the tech world of computers daily! We cannot conduct business if our computers are down!! A Wedding in not a business. Please do not start making it one.
If we start becoming so impersonal with committments of heart, it is a sad day.

I have a daughter to marry someday and even if she is marrying the Founder of the INTERNET/EMAIL/FACEBOOK EMPIRE, she will be sending out a personal handwritten invitiation with a response card, that the guests she is inviting will respond with a handwritten - yes or no-
I do not intend to offend anyone by my response, this is only my personal opinion.......

And of course at the end of the day, I will still except any form of invitation from the person, that is inviting me, in any form they wish.

But what will it be next?
Saying why do we need a Wedding Cake?

Email lists link

6/14/2012 02:18:09 am

Took me time to read all the comments, but I really enjoyed the article. It proved to be Very helpful to me and I am sure to all the commenters here! It's always nice .

Shan

7/10/2012 04:19:02 pm

Hi. Had to check out the site. It said cakes!

Call me pragmatic or just call me a whippersnapper, but I really have no problem with this is at all. In fact, I received a mailed wedding invitation from my friend to which I had to RSVP online via the couple's website and that was easy to do. Isn't it just a matter of time before the paper invitation (and most snail mail) becomes obsolete? There's an episode of Seinfeld that comes to mind where Kramer boasts about how he doesn't need mail at all. So how long are we going to hold onto this relic? You can't evite evites. And you can't evite eRSVPs... it is inevitable.

I do enjoy receiving and writing letters... it's not a knock on paper communication. But an aversion to cybernating these emotional moments like wedding invitations is sure to result in... heartbreak.

Email RSVP to a wedding? Wedding evite?

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